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Common Beliefs of Female Victims

  • She is financially dependent on her husband/boyfriend.
  • She has few friends and minimal family contact.
  • She has strong feelings of worthlessness and aloneness.
  • She is fearful for her life and the lives of her children.
  • She often believes that she is the cause of the abuse.
  • She is uninformed about resources for help.
  • She feels ashamed of the abuse.
  • She survives on the hope for a change in the relationship.
  • She has seen her own mother abused by her father.
  • She sometimes confuses love and violence.
  • She knows that the threat to her life may actually increase if she leaves.
  • She is fearful that her spouse will take her children from her.
  • She feels that it is her job to hold the family together.
  • She sees her husband's happiness as a measure of her success as a wife.
  • She knows that leaving her spouse will mean tremendous economic, emotional, occupational and personal hardships.
  • She commonly uses denial as a coping mechanism.
  • She believes that she can't survive without him, that no one else could love her.
  • She uses sex as a way to establish intimacy

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